Reasons to Book a Dominatrix
People can have a variety of reasons for seeing Pro Dominants, and often there are several different intentions happening at once.
In this blog post, I'll dive into a few of the more common reasons people visit Dominatrices. By reading, I hope you can identify with some of the themes listed, validate your own existing reasons, or give inspiration to figure out your own unique blend of intentions.
To "Get Out Of Their Head"
Often clients have a desire to shut off their brain for a bit, or hand over the keys. Whether you are an overthinker, a badass leader, or someone who feels disconnected to their body, getting out of your head can be an enticing premise for a kink scene. We can achieve this through intentional grounding exercises, leaning into fantasy/ emotion/ power dynamic, and playing with physical intensity or stimulation. During negotiation, we'll talk about how your life feels right now, vs how you would like to feel.
To Play With Someone Experienced & Ethical
Some of my most common requests come from people who are new to kink, or getting back into kink after a hiatus or negative experience. Both situations require playing with someone knowledgeable, patient, has no ulterior motives other than to guide them through the next step of their kinky journey. As a kink educator, some of my favourite and most rewarding sessions are ones where I am facilitating a first-time experience or re-introduction. On the most vulnerable part of your kinky journey, you will feel cared for, you will learn something about yourself, and you will feel more confident going forward.
To Find Out What They Like
What usually happens, is that people explore their kinks in a solo capacity before experiencing them in a hands-on manner. This mainly involves their imagination: engaging in fantasy exploration by consuming media, or engaging in virtual play. When we bring our kinks into the physical realm, there is often a learning curve. Due to the variety of tools, toys, and implements equipped at professional dungeons, booking a Pro Dominant is a great way to experiment receiving a variety of physical sensations. Most Pros are skilled in offering a wide range of kink/ fetish services as well, so you can explore with whatever appeals to you.
For Convenience
Lots of people don't have a kink partner, or don't have the time/ energy to invest into finding/ maintaining a kinky relationship. The convenience factor, or the ability to engage in kink play on your own timeline, whenever you have the desire, is another common reason people book Professionals. As long as you inquire with sufficient notice, a Pro is a great temporary or long lasting solution.
For A Special Occasion
Perhaps you do have access to regular kink play, but as a special treat, you want to gift yourself an elevated Professional experience. Rather than playing in your own bedroom with your own toys like usual, you'll have access to a fully stocked Professional dungeon. You'll be able to play with someone who is extremely skilled at bringing fantasies to life. Book a birthday solo session, or bring your partner for a special anniversary date.
To Be The Centre Of Attention
Often we show up in our personal relationships as the caregiver, or the people pleaser, or the service top. Booking a Dominatrix can give people permission to simply receive, no strings attached. This is a place where you can focus on sinking into bottoming, indulging in receiving pain or pleasure, or acting out a fantasy that is unique to your specific wants/ desires/ needs. This is the YOU show, and I am here to support you in that.
To Show Up Authentically
Sometimes the request is about providing a safe space where the client can express themselves authentically, without fear of judgement or abandonment. This might manifest in a session that engages with their gender presentation, their interest in bottoming for certain activities, or their desire for a niche fetish. Perhaps they don't get to express this part of themselves very often, despite the importance it may hold. Together we can create a shame-free space for this, leaving you feeling a little lighter, or like you've scratched the itch.
To Learn & Get Inspired
Believe it or not, lots of folks on the Dominant side of the spectrum book Dominatrices as well. Either booking solo or with a demo bottom, getting to experience how a Pro Dom(me) facilitates a session can be a valuable learning experience. In negotiation, we will talk about the specifics of what you want to learn, or where you currently struggle. And then we can show you how a Pro does it, in real time. It can involve demonstrating technique, safety, opening/ closing practices, creative ideas for play, and more. Learn by submitting or by co-topping, as your comfort dictates.